You’re leaving the office after a long and stressful day. You approach the elevator bank to see someone already standing there waiting. ‘Perfect!’ you think to yourself as you get closer, only to discover the button hasn’t been pressed yet and that jerk was just standing there on his phone, probably waiting for his boyzzz to go grab some dranks at the bar. You press the button. You wait longer than usual until it finally arrives. You make your move to the doors, but Asshat that was on his phone the whole time decides he is gonna go down now. Proceed to bottle up rage.
What is it about the society we live in that caused people to lose their common sense? When did something as simple as using an elevator become rocket science.
Here are some other types of people you might encounter on your elevator journeys…yes it’s gonna be a list rant! #ListRant
- The ‘Wrong Floor’ Guy: The guy we all hate that accidentally presses the wrong floor and then laughs to you about it like you’re best friends and you don’t have anywhere better to be.
- The ‘Stare Into Your Soul’ Guy: The guy who never heard about the rule where you face forward and look up at the elevator TV…even if it’s broken. Instead just uncomfortably stares at you.
- The ‘Chivalry Is Dead’ Guy: The guy whose destination is just too important to let ladies exit first…wait…nope, no he’s just standing out there on his phone now…but maybe it was an important txt.
- The ‘Long Goodbye’ Guy: The guy who exits the elevator and proceeds to carry on a conversation with his friend still on the elevator because they need to figure out what time to meet up with Gary on the 14th floor and what they have to talk about is just so god damn important and they try to get as much conversation in as they possibly can before–BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *door slowly closes* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
- The ‘Guardian Of The Buttons’ Guy: The asshole who stands right in front of the buttons and doesn’t move for you to push your floor, nor does he offer.
- The ‘I’m Totally Still Talking To Someone On My Phone’ Guy: The guy who gets on the elevator while on his phone and pretends to carry on a conversation while everyone else knows that the call totally dropped and he’s STILL talking. Guy, we all know. Just stop.
- The ‘Sabotage’ Guy: The guy that gets on, gets off, but leaves you a little parting gift. Then someone else gets on and you have to take the fall while they awkwardly pretend they don’t smell anything.
- The ‘Heavy Cologne’ Guy: The guy who should be best friends with the ‘Sabotage’ Guy.
- The ‘Shit I Missed My Floor’ Guy: The guy who is checking out his selfies on Instagram and misses his floor and says ‘Shit! I missed my floor’.
And there you have it, a collection of some of the worse people you could encounter. I’m sure I’ve missed a few, so feel free to comment below and let me know who else you might have come across that I forgot to mention.