It’s pretty much all I’ve been hearing for what’s felt like a year and 8 months, but apparently it’s only been a year and 7 months since I last posted a new rant, so you people need to relax! It’s for that reason I dedicate this next rant to you, my ‘fans’…my ever so annoyingly demanding ‘fans’.
It’s a weird feeling knowing that there are people out there that actually enjoy reading my opinions on some of the most random subjects, like fortune cookies, or items no longer available on the Red Lobster menu. It’s a weird feeling having my aunt come up to me and say ‘I loved your rant on Tim Hortons lids!’ Or my mom’s friend come up to me and say ‘I love reading your rants, they’re so cute!’ I don’t take compliments very well, I usually awkwardly laugh, say thanks and then try to change the subject. I guess part of the reason why I stopped writing was because I felt that I couldn’t live up to the ‘standards’ of my other rants. As I started writing this I was worried you wouldn’t like it, but then came to the realization that it doesn’t really matter if you don’t, and I can’t make you. What does matter is that I’m writing, and you’re reading, so I must be doing something right.
I know it says DAILY RANT and that’s the part I get the most heat on. I don’t post daily, maybe I should, but I think that would be overkill. Instead, I will try to stick to what I’ve been doing in the past, one rant per month. Although this year I might give you two per month. That’s like subscribing to your favourite magazine and then getting another year subscription for free! Except I’m not charging you yet. Wait, what? …No it’s not.
In all seriousness, I write these rants in good fun, and I appreciate the enthusiasm and support I get from you. So think of this ‘rant’ as a reintroduction to what you can expect from me in the future. Wait…that isn’t enough build up. This is pretty much a bad ass come back of epic proportions. Like the time Gandalf the Grey came back in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers as Gandalf the White and everyone was like ‘aww shiiiiiiiit! it’s about to get real up in here y’aaaall!’ Or when Ja Rule made his triumphant return to the rap game after two years in prison in 2012…am I right guys?…guys?
Wait I should have just said The Rant-Bot just got a firmware upgrade…dammit.