daily rant – 00045 – umbrella much?

Q:  What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for?

A:  Fo’ drizzle!…thank you.

Should I quit while I’m ahead?  …Ah let’s go for it!  I hate when it rains.  But what I hate more than rain is when it rains and I’m downtown…and both of those are happening right now.  Here’s the deal, I don’t MIND the rain.  It could be pouring outside and I would walk to Union Station with no umbrella…after all, it’s only water.  What I dislike is when people feel the need to open their big ass umbrellas as soon as they get off the GO Train at the first sign of it being wet outside…even if it’s a little drizzle and you barely get wet.  The thing about this is, your big ass umbrella keeps hitting me in the face and I don’t appreciate it.  Why is your umbrella that big??  I drew a diagram to accompany my displeasure:




Another thing that annoys me is when it’s raining sideways and you still have your umbrella open like it’s saving your life.  Here it is in illustration form drawn by yours truly:


relax, mary poppins.


Please note the rain coming in from the side and the umbrella not doing anything to prevent that.  There’s somewhat of a wind tunnel downtown at the corners of King and Bay Streets.  I like to call it the Bermuda Square for umbrellas.  After a big windy rainfall, you will see dozens of discarded umbrellas scattered on the streets that valiantly battled the elements of Downtown Toronto…and lost.  Here is my tribute to those fallen soldiers:


here lies ‘brelli. may he rest in pieces.


I do however get a kick out of people struggling with their umbrellas on windy days.  There they are, desperately holding on to a mangled piece of metal with some cloth dangling off of it which i’m sure used to resemble an umbrella with tears in their eyes…or is that rain hitting their face because their umbrella is broken…

…There I am, laughing.

Peace out!

P.S. Do you like the illustrations?  Should I always use my own illustrations?  As long as you don’t steal them, because I will sue you.

Side note: At the time of writing, it was raining.  Of course now it’s super sunny and you all think I’m crazy.


Feb 28/11



2 thoughts on “daily rant – 00045 – umbrella much?

  1. Men don’t need to worry about their hurrrr…. hence, women downtown ‘need’ umbrellas. The more cocoon like, the better.And you don’t need it to be sunny for me to believe you are crazy.

    And keep the drawings coming. With captions. You do all this while at work, might as well make it pretty.

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