daily rant – 00044 – can’t be unseen

What is UP 2011!?

I took a break from the ranting over the holidays because…well it’s the holidays and there’s not much to rant about. There was no traffic on the roads. TV stepped up to the plate and showed marathons of awesomeness. And I got to spend time with friends and family. But the vacation is over. Back to work, back to traffic and more importantly, back to ranting. So let’s get to it!

You know how sometimes you see something and then you can’t help but notice it no matter how hard you try not to? Some call it “can’t be unseen” and there’s actually a website dedicated to it. I was watching a hockey game recently, and they were reviewing a goal and the camera would cut to the refs talking to the guy whose only job is to hand the ref headphones so they can review the play with sound… because you need sound to see apparently. Anyways, in the background there was this guy who answered his phone, he then proceeded to make a complete fool of himself by throwing down various gang signs. This is how I imagine that conversation going down:

guy at game: *answers phone* “Talk to me”

friend at home: “Broham! You’re totally on TV right now!”

guy at game: “Dude, of course I am, I’m at the game.”

friend at home: “No like, dude, like I can see you talking to me RIGHT NOW!! So it’s kinda like I’M on TV too!”

guy at game: “NO WAY!” *throws down gang signs* “Can you see me doing this??”

friend at home: “A hahahaha! AAAAAAAAAA hahahaha! Yea keep doing stuf–aw man, they changed camer–WAIT YOU’RE BACK ON!!!!!”

Drunk guy at game: *throws down gang signs while puckering lips*


I am giving them the benefit of doubt and assuming they were both drunk. Thanks to that guy, I couldn’t help but notice this behaviour at every game I watched. If you don’t believe, just watch and pay attention to the crowd next time…you can thank me later. There would always be idiots on the phone at the game throwing down signs like they were the shit. It’s so annoying to me because I can no longer enjoy a game without seeing such douchebaggery. It’s just embarrassing to watch because most of the time they are caught off guard and don’t really know what to do so they awkwardly make shapes with their hands until they are satisfied, hold pose for 5 seconds while biting bottom lip or puckering their lips and then laugh to themselves. Why? What is the purpose? Are you trying to impress girls? Let me fill you in on some important information:

This is how you see yourself while doing this:


Pretty awesome right?  Abe Lincoln riding what looks like a Grizzly Bear, holding what I can only assume is the declaration of independance while holding a gun.  Pretty bas ass.

UNFORTUNATELY, this is how girls ACTUALLY see you:





Jan 13/01



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