daily rant – 00041 – trick-or-WEAK!!!

Remember those days when kids used to get excited about Halloween?

The days where kids would spend weeks making their Halloween costume?  Note, I said “making” and not dropping 20 bucks at the local costume depot…and when Halloween fell on a weekday, you would rock that shit to school, show it off to your friends, go home, keep it on, watch cartoons while having your afternoon snack…in costume, wait for your parents to get home so you can go build your empire of candy, with not 1, but 2 pillow cases at the ready.  I know I wasn’t the only one.

I remember when I used to go trick or treating.  There used to be so many kids running from house to house, it ended up being a competition.  That’s what made it fun.  With all that being said, I was pretty disappointed when I only had 9 kids come to my door this year.  I know, it’s sad, not even double digits.  Then again, it was only down like 6 or 7 kids from last year.  Last night one kid asked for a juice box and another wasn’t even dressed up!  For your entertainment, here’s how those conversations went:

Act I

5 year old dino kid: “Do you have a juice box?”

Me: “uuuuh…” *drops candy in his bag*

Dino kid: “so you ain’t got no juice box huh?”

Me: “ummm”

Dino parent: “Hey!  Come on you little bugger!  Leave the nice gentleman alone!”



Act II

Teen dressed in jeans, hoodie and a mask: “trick or treat!”

Me: “And what are you supposed to be?  A princess?”

Teen: “ha ha very funny, can I have some candy?”

Me: “yes, but you only get one because that’s a pretty lame costume.”


Hey, someone has to stand up to these lazy kids looking for their freebie sugar highs.  But the best costume of the night went to the little adorable baby who clearly just learned how to walk dressed up as superman.

Baby: “muh muh muh muh mah?”

Me: “awww” *gives 5 chocolates*

He would have had 6 but everyone knows superman didn’t have his costume until he was much older.

That’s another thing.  Back in the day we used to get so much variety of candy, but recently it’s been all kit kat, smarties and coffee crisp.  Nestle is the true winner of Halloween.  Does anyone hand out rockets anymore?  So what has changed over the past 20 years?  Parents not wanting their children out past 6pm?  Advancement in the video gaming world?  Global warming?  Who knows?  I think I need to go out next year and show these kids how it’s really done!  Who’s with me?!?

…Whatever happened to UNICEF?

Rantbot, out!


Nov 1/10



One thought on “daily rant – 00041 – trick-or-WEAK!!!

  1. I agree. The spirit has gone out of halloween, last week myself, my wife and kids threw an old woman, we suspected of being a witch, onto a bonfire. Of course the police turned up and made a big drama out of the whole episode and now we are awaiting trial. What is happening to the world?

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